dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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