Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
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