I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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