I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
