Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
