Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
