Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
