Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
