that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Small penises have feelings too.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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