Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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