dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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