YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
