Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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