The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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