another moral hangover. fuck.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
