We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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