Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize