my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
