can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
