could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
