Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
is wine microwaveable?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
