we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
