Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize