Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Randomize
