How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
