Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
