I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
