Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
