your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
