I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
