What a fucking waste of an outfit
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
