they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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