She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
