I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
