So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
