fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
