thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
