i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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