Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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