After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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