My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
