I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
