Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
