I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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