oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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