wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
