I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
