Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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