i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
