after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
