i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
