You really coming over, don't trick.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
