I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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