Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I yelled at your uterus for you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
