we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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