And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
