whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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