look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
