becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
