Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize